Q is for Quintessential Queries

As my DW has already done, it is my turn to share with you...

SIX WEIRD THINGS ABOUT MY WIFE

1. Some of you know that Penny has some rather chilly body parts. Feet. Flanks. Glutes. Its a running joke with us because I am, as someone once tagged me, The Human Hot Water Bottle. So you would think that she would appreciate being warm? Apparently not. She loathes hot feet and hot hands. Hates it. She feels all clammy, especially with her feet. We're not sure where the happy medium is. She has a pair of what she calls "Magic Socks" which alleviate the worst of the cold feet in bed, but eventually they come off.

2. Some women go nuts about shoes. Fortunately, my wife isn't one of them. Granted, she has way more in terms of footwear than I do, but she's nowhere near obsessed. However, she does have one clothing fetish: scarves. Not just any scarves. Ones she can knit. I'm very impressed with anyone who can knit, and my wife is one of the better ones at it. But she goes all giddy when she sees a scarf pattern, particularly if its some new, funky, multi-strand chunky design. Me? I don't get it. But it makes her happy.

3. There's nothing wrong with liking chocolate, but apparently if a chocolate treat involves layers, this triggers something in my wife. For example, with chocolate covered jujubes, she will eat all the chocolate off, suck the jujube clean of any remaining chocolate and then eat the jujube itself. She has to do this one at a time. Unless, of course, its a black one, and then I get it.

4. As some of you have seen, my wife is, well...um...uh...let's just say that 'June is bust-ing out all over.' As a result, if you have a body part that is likely to receive a lot of visual interest, I suppose it stands to reason that you want to make sure its presentable. This often means nipple alignments. Before she goes out anywhere, she'll often get me to make sure her "nipples are straight". If I look at this rationally, I suppose I wouldn't want one nipple pointing one way while the other is cock-eyed (so to speak) but as a guy, I just get to have free boobie looks. :)

5. Penny and I are equally bad for this one, but we often start crafts and leave them untouched for long periods of time. With Penny its needlepoint. With me, its models. We both have half-started or even untouched projects of various shades tucked away. In Penny's defence, she does complete some of them. In fact, she just completed and framed one that became a commemorative for our wedding. (Feb 5, for those of you planning to send Anniversary gifts) I'll let her tell you how that came about.

6. "There's no such thing as 'too hot'", she says. While this does not apply to feet or hands it does apply to that most exclusive of condiments: horseradish. Now, being of strong English stock I appreciate a good roast beef and horseradish, but Penny takes it up a notch. When we visit her "Aunt" for some of the Jewish holidays, she often has this wild purple horseradish which could curl nosehairs at fifty paces. That stuff became Penny's benchmark for "hot". Since then she's been on a quest for the ultimate hot horseradish. Borrowing a page from Kal, she's referred to some of the alleged "Extra Hot" offerings from the local grocery store as "Ussy-Pay". "Extra Hot, my ass", she says after biting into a roast beef sandwich in anticipation. Personally, I don't know what the right recipe is. We're still looking for the purple stuff.

There you go. She might be weird, but she's all mine and I love her to bits.