Wednesday, August 31

Can you tell I'm avoiding work?





Your 80s Theme Song:

Your 80s Theme Song is Jessie's Girl by Rick Springfield

Kal's World: Essential office equipment

I definitely want one of these at my office. dtrini would agree.

(Please click the post title...)

I fought the snooze, and the snooze won

(With profound apologies to The Clash and Sonny Curtis)

Dreamin' of lyin in the hot sun
I fought the snooze and the snooze won (twice)
I needed good sleep 'cause I had none
I fought the snooze and the snooze won (twice)

I left my bed and it feels so bad
I think I missed the bus
I need the best sleep that I ever had
I fought the snooze and the snooze won (twice)

Tossin' and turnin' and a-Zzzzzzzzz.....
I fought the snooze and the snooze won (twice)
My girl said, "honey are you Zzzzzzzz......
I fought the snooze and the snooze won (twice)

I skipped my shower and my morning shave
I cannot find my pants
My train is comin' but I will be late
I fought the snooze and the snooze won (7 times)

Tuesday, August 30

Make it stop!!

I have one brief refrain of Gershwin's Rhapsody in Blue running endlessly through my head.

Will someone please step up, be a pal, and decapitate me??

Thank you. You may now resume your regular activities.

I tagged myself

1. Name as it appears on birth certificate: Mossy Lime Stone
2. Nicknames: Spiff, Mossy, Skip, Hey You, Charlie Brown
3. Place of Birth: I assume it was a hospital bed
4. Favorite food: Italian
5. Ever been to Africa: I can only miss the rains (Thanks, Kal)
6. Love someone so much it hurts: More often than was good for me
7. Been in a car accident: Yes, as a passenger.
8. Croutons or bacon bits: Both - don't short-change my Caesar!
9. Favorite day of the week: Any day not involving actual work
10. Favorite restaurant: Rebel House in Toronto.
11. Favorite sport to watch: football, CFL-style, and hockey
12. Favorite drink for summer: Strongbow Cider
13. Favorite ice cream: Tiger Tail, Mint Chocolate.
14. Disney or Warner Bros. : WB. Gimme that Bugs Bunny/Roadrunner stuff!
15. Favorite fast food restaurant: Quizno's
16. What Colour is your bedroom carpet: beige
17. How many times did you fail your driver's test: 0
18. Before this one, from whom did you get your last e-mail: alleged work SME
19. Which store would you choose to max out your credit card: Home Depot or Lee Valley Tools
20. What do you do most often when you are bored: Pace. Fidget.
21. What time is Bedtime: Usually between 10 and 11 p.m.
24. Favorite TV shows: M*A*S*H, That 70s Show, Family Plots, Kink and Bliss, Law & Order, CSI
25. Last person/s you went to dinner with: with my bride in SF.
26. Ford or Chevy: Depends. Is someone else paying for it?
27. What are you listening to right now: The clack of keys and office chatter
28. What is your favorite color: Depends on what its for, really.
29. Lake, ocean or river: Um, for what purpose? I like them all
30. How many tattoos do you have? One
31. Have you ever run out of gas: Only as a passenger in a car (vis-a-vis gasoline.) Personal flatulence, however, is ongoing.

Commercial Break.

1996 Intrepid: $4685.00 (Used)
Transit pass: $60.70 per week
Gas price this morning: $1.035/litre
Relief at not being a SUV owner: Priceless.

Monday, August 29

This is what happens...

....when you forget your reading material at home. My work colleague, Big Guy, is on 3 days off, so instead of reading and generally letting my brain wander, I am left with few options. I can, a) blog via email, or b) listen to the silly dimwit legal assistants sitting by me on the train home. Needless to say, I'm blogging.

Am I really shallow by being glad I'm not in New Orleans right now? I couldn't imaging being told to evacuate and then being left with not much other than hope that my home would be there when I was allowed to return. Horrible stuff, that.

I've had some seriously disturbing dreams lately. I had them in San Fran, and I've had them since I returned. Wish I knew what kind of subconscious crack my brain has been on lately, because its some seriously nasty stuff. Has anyone ever wondered what monsters lurk under the surface??

What is it about Su Doku that I'm missing?

I really need sleep. Solid, uninterrupted sleep. Like, for about a week.

Is Heaven real, or just a myth to diminish our fear or dying?

(OMG I am so bored)

Has someone ever caught your eye for no reason whatsoever? Then, have you "always" seen that person, like, everywhere?

Ever looked at another blog and said, "Wow...I wish I could come up with stuff like that"?

Am I alone in my guilty pleasure of reading Star Trek novels? Does that make me lame?

I spend too much time mulling over shit like this

Secret du jour: A former trainer from the team I used to manage needs a reference. She's good at her job, but I don't know how to work into the reference that she can be a handful to manage. Leave that one with me.

How do I go about "bidding" to speak at next year's edition of the conference I attended without coming across as a self-serving suck-up?

I really don't want to get old.

Will I ever actually finish anything I start?

Why do people who consistently ride the same regularly-scheduled commuter train feel the need to make phone calls to the listener that they're "on the way home"? Are the people at the other end that incapable of using a timetable?

What happened to John Q. Public?

Are you bored yet?

I really want to go back to school. I'm happy when I'm learning stuff. Of course that goes back to my earlier question about "finishing" stuff.

Evolution was a very funny movie. Rent it.

Buddhists have it all figured out. Everything you "figure out" is one step closer to enlightenment. As a bonus, you get those totally kick-ass robes and the low-maintenance haircut.

All yours, gang. Have some fun with it

Monday sillies and other smatterings

Here are a few thoughts in no particular order.

  • I'm back to the salt mines today. In some respects its almost like I never left.
  • I'm putting the finishing touches on an e-learning deliverable which I will be quite happy to send out to the customer world after some roadblocks.
  • My regular bus driver is back on the morning run, replacing the idiot who took over for her on a summer rotation. Granted, she babbles on a bit, but at least my life isn't at risk when I step aboard.
  • In my haste to pack everything this morning, I managed to leave my book behind. Damnit. The Rule of Four is quite interesting...
  • My Sunday hockey team had its final game yesterday. A whopping 4 people showed up to play. So we ended our season with an ignonomous forefeit. One of the 3 players (he actually bothered to dress) and I joined our would-be opposition for an hour of shinny. Kinda sums up the whole experience, in my mind.

DW is apparently feeling sick. This is not a good thing. Shadow the Wonder Kitty has been embracing her inner bitch and is growling at everyone in sight, earning her several banishments and one dunking in the tub.

*sigh*

Gotta love Mondays...

Sunday, August 28

I are back!!

Yes indeed, fans and admirers and the lovely studio audience, I have returned.

It was a long, long, long week away.

Where were I? I were in San Francisco, attending a conference. DW tagged along for the trip to see some of the city.

The conference itself wasn't bad, although on two different levels I didn't get as much from it as I'd prefer. I didn't get as much of the real "depth" from some of the case studies presented in the different sessions. Nor did I get as much depth from the 3-day workshop that ended the week. Second, and most important, I didn't get nearly as many goodies from the vendors who were there over the first two days. Usually when I go to some big techie conference, the vendors are there with all sorts of swag, goodies and handouts. I always come home with some cool stuff. Not this time. The conference was only 275 attendees, so the vendor area wasn't as large as other conferences, and I must say that the quality of the goodies was sadly diminished.

However, I found some trinkets for the wondertwins and this keeps them happy.

Shadow the Wonder Kitty was extremely happy to see us when we returned late, late, late Saturday night. At one point after going to bed, I awoke to find her sleeping on the pillow around my head like some kind of living stole. Endearing. Creepy, but endearing.

We pulled off the fastest airport clearance departure in my long, interesting history flying Scare Canada. I have, on some flights, waited nearly an hour for my luggage to arrive at the carousel, just to give you an example. This time, not only did we push back early because we were ALL boarded well in advance, we had a good tailwind that had us at the gate nice and quick. We deplaned, and had a very minimal wait at Canada Customs and then our luggage arrived down the chute in quick succession. I think we actually made it out of the airport (eg. out to the car and parking paid and moving) in less than 45 minutes. Probably closer to 30. That, my friends, is speedy.

Today, however, is largely dedicated to work. I have some pressing deadlines for a training package that needs to get burned to CD no later than Tues/Wed and I have a hockey game at 3PM. Needless to say, I didn't appreciate the Project Mangler harassing me via email asking when she could have a copy. ("Hey, Lady....I'm on freakin course here! If you and your brilliant scribes had the materials to me on time, we wouldn't be asking me to work while I'm away, now would we???")

I did manage to go 4-0 in my football pool this week. Gotta love some of those long-predicted upset wins...)

On that note, I will part. Enjoy the day, all!

(I was surprised to see how few blogs had been updated since I left. Surely I'm not the catalyst for everyone else, am I???? =oP )

Thursday, August 18

The limits of human cruelty?

I'm a real aviation buff, and every so often I wander over to airliners.net to cruise through the photo gallery. Planespotting is an interesting hobby, to say the least. (I did something similar in my Army days, but not to this extent)

With the crash in Greece, there's been lots of speculation about what went wrong. I think it will take a long time to sort out the facts from the hyperbole, and it renders the whole event even more tragic. The discussion forums on a.net had a link to some photos that were circulating, allegedly taken by the Greek Air Force. Check this out.

What's really scary is that these photos are good. I mean, really good. Unless you were savvy enough to recognize the subtle differences between the variants of the aircraft, you'd be inclined to take the photos as gospel (albeit macabre.) Fortunately, there are niche experts who were able to not only dismiss the photos as fake, but they culled their database to see some of the photos used to create the fakes.

I have to wonder: what would possess someone to do that? I'm all for practical joking in good clean fun, but this really is the limit. It's not funny, its cruel. Almost as bad as the stupid goat-fucker who said he got a text message from a cousin before the plane went down. He is alleged to have responded "I wanted to get my name in the paper." These photos are in a similar vein as the fakes that circulated after 9/11. (eg. the guy on the observation deck of the tower while a plane approaches in the background, or the devil face in the smoke, etc., etc.)

The sad thing is, even in the face of this evidence,people will believe it if they don't know any better. These photos will circulate and become part of the myth obscuring the truth. Because everything they read on the internet must be true, right?

The more I learn about the depths of depravity in humankind, the more I like my Cat.

Wednesday, August 17

I'm just relieved I'm not a fuckwit

There are just enough caveats in here to still let me have some fun.

I'm a generally unfuckwitted, liberal, not-too-generous, not-too-selfish, pathetically simple-minded, dribbling child!
What are you?
Brought to you by Rum and Monkey

Tuesday, August 16

Speak up, will ya? My Leppard is a little Def this morning

Nothing quite like a concert to give you a little boost, is there?

DW and I were among the screaming thousands at the Def Leppard concert last night and we had a complete blast.

This is a band I've been dying to see for ages but I never had the time or the money to be able to enjoy the live experience. However, thanks to my DW, we managed to get tickets for their Toronto show.

Wow...

That actually sums it up.

Wow.

It's kind of hard to explain the emotional rush I get from an event like that. I'm actually in sight of a band/group/act I admire (or in some cases, awe) and to be able to be there and soak it all in, well...it's just magical.

I'll let DW provide her commentary on our people-watching activities during the opening act, because I'm sure I can't do it justice. However, it's safe to say that there were a lot of fugly people out there wearing stuff that, well, just shouldn't be seen on some people, ya know?

Monday, August 15

Could'a, should'a

I should be working. I could be working.

But, I'm not.

I don't know if I feel guilty about this dilemma.

It's not like I didn't accomplish anything today. Honest! I had some good creative moments, and came up with some nice visual solutions to a couple of design problems. No small tasks, those.


I have my current pressing work deadlines (as some of the more faithful viewers will recall) but I find myself not wanting to do anything to meet them right at this moment.

It's such a paradox. I *know* it needs to get gone, but I *don't* want to do it. What does this make me? Lazy? Unmotivated?

Am I so inspired by the last-minute cram that I purposely try to sabotage myself? Interesting thought, that. I just came up with it. Maybe that's proof positive that I've spent too much time with psychotherapists. That's a blog for another time.

Tomorrow will be spent putting some "finishing" touches on the first cut of one of my deliverables. I have a review in the afternoon and I can get something like work done then.

A very inside football comment

Michael Bishop and my wardrobe have something in common: Year after year, neither gets better

(Thanks to Steve Simmons, of the Toronto Sun)

Friday, August 12

Wow...I'm gonna live to be 200!

Best medical news I've heard all week...

Thursday, August 11

Used to happen in Utah ALL the time...

I got a slightly perverse kick out of this article. Law & Order had a great episode showing a man who had two separate families. Comments in italics are mine.

Man's three wives meet for first time at his sickbed

LONDON (AP) - Some people bring flowers, others bring balloons. But when Melvyn Reed's three wives showed up to visit him in hospital they brought an unexpected end to his years as a bigamist.

British police confirmed Thursday that after Melvyn Reed woke from his triple bypass heart operation earlier this year, his complicated marital affairs took a turn for a worse. All three of his spouses had turned up at the same time, despite his efforts to stagger their visits. (No wonder the poor bugger needed a bypass)

Upon realizing that something was amiss, the wives held a meeting in the parking lot and learned they were all married to the same man, the British news media reported. (This is typical British understatement....I can just imagine the substance of that meeting.)

The 59-year-old company director from Kettering, in central England, turned himself in on May 12. (probably for his own safety. Proverbs speak of the fury of a woman scorned. Imagine that scorn with an exponential factor of 3)

A spokeswoman for the Crown Prosecution Service said Reed pleaded guilty July 19 to two charges of bigamy at Wimbledon Magistrates' Court in south London, and was given a four-month suspended sentence and ordered to pay 70 pounds (about $150 Cdn) in costs, police said.

Reed, his three wives and Reed's lawyer, Laurence Grant, could not immediately be reached for comment. (He's probably in hiding because he was hoping for the relative safetly of Her Majesty's Prisons. They, on the other hand, are probably in hiding because they'd like to avoid being protrayed as stupid.)

The London Metropolitan Police said Reed married his first wife, Jean Grafton, in 1966, then left her without divorcing her. He went on to marry Denise Harrington in 1998, then married Lyndsey Hutchinson in 2003. (Of course, this is deceit of the highest order. I may have had my asshole moments in my time, but this guy takes the cake.

The British media have widely reported that Reed recently moved back in with his first wife. They say she is the mother of his three grown children. (Um, before or after the bypass?)

London's police said Harrington and Hutchinson had sought advice on getting their marriages annulled. But news reports say lawyers have advised the women that their marriages were never valid. (Their only recourse will be through the courts by means of a lawsuit. This just won't end well.)

Wednesday, August 10

Days like these...

I miss my drums sometimes. I'd like nothing better than being able to go home, find some suitable tunes, put the headphones on, and play myself into exhaustion.

I loved playing. I really did. I'd say I was capable, with random flashes of brilliance, but it was a lot of fun.

Of course, its no fun playing without a band. In Mossy's alternate universe, I am in a band that can play some fun stuff. Just covers, really. I'd be content to play in bars or things like that. I'd really love to put one together for an office bash.

But, drums cost money, and its a moot indulgence without a band to play in. At least air drums are free...

I bet he'll want to study for an advanced degree in "Communications"


This says it all...

(shamelessly ripped from BlogShares)

For the football curious...

I've been asked to post something that will explain the differences between Canadian football and American football.

Lazy sod that I am, I elected to link to someone else's careful research rather than do all that work myself.

http://www.13thman.com/cflvsnfl.html

Tuesday, August 9

I don't know if this helps with writers' block

...but it can't hurt, right?

Your Hawaiian Name is:

Mauli Konane

The Nasal Chronicle

So here I am, minding my own business on the morning train. One of the "regulars" who usually gets on when I do is in the seat beside me.

Ever sat next to a loud breather? This guy is one. Got the loudest nasal exhale I've ever heard and its the only damn thing I can hear.

They wouldn't put me away for stifling him now, would they??

Monday, August 8

yadnoM cinaM

?sdrawkcab tsop eritne siht etirw ot erew I fi neppah dluow tahw rednow I

.did I sseug I, hO

(raedrehtoM ,noitcerroc eht rof sknahT)

Friday, August 5

I don't know how I feel about this

Geeze, ya make one casual reference to Charles Shultz on another blog, and then it all goes insane.

I can't believe I'm a secondary Character.

Rerun
You are Rerun!


Which Peanuts Character are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

What, fuzzy dice didn't cut it?

http://www.bumpernuts.com/

Ya know, I saw something like this on a truck near home a while ago and I thought it was just a couple of tennis balls in a sock. Who knew it was a product?

This is proof that sidebar ads on sites do indeed generate traffic...

I dunno if I'd see dtrini or Larry putting these on their respective rides. Danikabur, on the other hand...well, she might want it to look like a trophy. ;-)

Withering Heights

DW and I had an interesting discussion, last night. (Yes, Larry, this is why your ears were burning. ). As with most of our talks, we're not quite sure how we got on the topic, but DW made a comment about how tall she thought Larry was. (Don't ask...I said I didn't know how we got here, so just enjoy the ride.).

I had a different impression of Larry and I asked DW why she thought what she did. She said, "I dunno, he just writes 'tall'...I dunno!?"

"Writes tall"?

On the face of it, that assessment is somewhat absurd. But when you think about it, its a bit of an interesting question of perception and the workings of the mind's eye. I mean, is it really possible to convey some of your tangibles to your writing? Does J.K. Rowling write taller than Stephen King? Or are they the same write height? Let's take a look at this little blog circle...Does anyone think that Duff should really be in the WNBA? Or maybe that Kal is a sawed-off runt? (No need to rush to the defence of your first-born, Motherdear...I was speaking rhetorically.).

What other perceptions of each other do we hold that would be shattered on first meet? What blanks have we been filling in? Do we see only what we want to see? What exactly do we think about when we comment at one another?

And then the ol' brain really got going.

Imagine all of us meeting at the same time. Who would be disappointed when meeting the in-person drive behind the blog? Who might find some secret lust? (Exluding those already made part of the public record *grin*). Would some kind of personal or perceptual prejudice change our interactions?

What if we discovered that it was all a lie? What if Larry was really a 14 y/o teenager with Magnum PI aspirations? What if Danikabur was really some very lonely, lonely guy with some kind of hidden agenda? Is it possible that Cricket titled her blog to describe the things she lacks? Does Callie write Lowk's blog as a way to preserve the memory of her deceased soulmate? Our perceptions of others would change, but are we self-aware enough to see these things within ourselves?

Truth is, apart from those folks who have met in person, none of us really know about one another beyond what we put up in the blog. We take it all on faith. I didn't articulate all of this to DW, but since we've both met people we initially encountered online I think its safe to say she knows where I'm coming from. (While I think of it, remind me to tell you about a couple of now-funny online date stories.)

Now, do I really think all of this about all of you? Of course not. But it sure makes you think, doesn't it?

Thursday, August 4

Shamelessly Thieved Meme

If you're afraid of the answers you're not supposed to ask the question. However, since I'm feeling delightfully fatalistic this week, I toss this informational 'steak' into the den of hungry bloggers.

Comment with your responses...

1- Who are you?
2- How long have you known me?
3- Select my next car and explain why you picked it.
4- Describe me in one word.
5- What reminds you of me?
6- If you could give me anything what would it be?
7- Ever wanted to tell me something you couldn’t?
7a- Ever wanted to ask me something you couldn't?
8- Are you going to put this on your blog and see what i can say about you?
9- What do you love like a kid loves cake?
10- What makes you come back here?

Edit: Yes, I know...I altered a couple of the questions just to put my own unique stamp on the quiz.

Hockey and Bulls and Bears, oh my!

There are times when I let my inner grump get the better of me. That's probably a safe way to characterize the last several days in Mossy's little gravel pit.

Work is, regrettably, the trigger. However, in an effort to avoid getting "dooced", I'll refrain from the rants about some of the perceived matches seeking to light my fuse. Besides, dtrini and my long-suffering DW have heard them all already.

It's funny, though, how an off day can really snowball into having your own personal thundercloud. I admit that I'm moody. In fact, when I was dating, it was usually one of the things I would warn people about. Anyone who has worked with me can also attest to my moodiness. Yeah, I wear my heart on my sleeve...even when it occasionally sports a set of fangs.

I've been a bear and I dunno why my wife puts up with it, frankly.

I mean, in an ideal world, I could just stifle it all or become "Mr. Teflon" and let it all run off me, but that's just not who I am. Is it because I'm a Taurus? All the astrological thinking says its a trait, but it tends to be just who I am, bovine male or not. Sometimes I can deal with it, sometimes I can't. I wish I had more control but....I guess it's just a work in progress.



Now, on to other madness: Hockey.

The closest comparison is watching a car crash. You don't want to, but you just have to. That's what its like to watch the Maple Loafs do their "deer in the headlights" routine while the cream of the Free Agent crop get picked up by other teams. The Leafs made one, count 'em, ONE pickup, and are either leaving people in limbo (Hello, Tie Domi) or signing the mediocre (Hello, Aki Berg, Wade Belak, and Nik Antropov) or saying good bye to the gems (So Long, Joe Nieuwendyk, Gary Roberts, Ron Francis, and Brian Leetch...and probably Owen Nolan.)

All those free agents who wanted to come to Toronto? Gone-zo. The "brain trust" is so completely hamstrung by the insane contracts of the old system (Mats Sundin, Ed Belfour) that they have something like $10M left to spend and they need 9 players. Dunno about you, but I see a lot of guys shuttling back & forth from the Marlies this season just to keep the Loafs under the cap.

I don't get it. I just don't get it. Poor dtrini is almost inconsolable over this wheel spinning. I ran into Skibum this morning on the subway, on the way to his new gig. He's pissed because he got a Roberts jersey last year but didn't wear it while the lockout was on. Now he doesn't know when he'll be able to wear it at all.

I think I'll be cheering for the Flames this year.

At least we got to see him kick some Sith ass...

Which Fantasy/SciFi Character Are You?



A venerated sage with vast power and knowledge, you gently guide forces around you while serving as a champion of the light.

Judge me by my size, do you? And well you should not - for my ally is the Force. And a powerful ally it is. Life greets it, makes it grow. Its energy surrounds us, and binds us. Luminescent beings are we, not this crude matter! You must feel the Force around you, everywhere.