Wednesday, September 21

Dirty Gypsy speculation #2

After finding herself in a drunken stupor following her birthday, The Steph is at her best Dirty Gypsy self when she spots a handsome young bus boy tidying up the bar. Smitten, she follows him around like a puppy, declaring to one and all, "S'up, my Bitches....isn't he the SHIT" Not wanting to argue with the sauced one, they all agreed that he was indeed the Shit. After 45 minutes of extolling his virtues (having cornered him with her boozy grin and practiced pressure point holds) she finally demanded that someone marry them immediately or suffer the consequences.

The lad's command of the English language was, charitably, lacking. Back home (no, not on Mepos, Balki) this kind of behaviour was often the precursor to the ritual involuntary vasectomy practiced by some members of his clan with women issues. After carefully weighing the odds, he realized that cooperation was probably his wisest course of action and began to nod like a bobblehead in a 4x4.

Steph's friends finally dragged the dishwashing guy out from the kitchen and explained the situation. Drawing on his own tenuous command of English, he performed a ceremony for the two of them in his native tongue. Little did Steph and her terrified intended know that he had just issued a curse upon them that promised festering armpit sores and terminal halitosis for the unwary couple.

When they were last seen, Steph was dragging her new ersatz hubby out the door with cries of "oh come on, honey, you're gonna just love Tulsa...I hear it's really the shit..."

(enjoy...)

Brilliant Blog

4 comments:

Larry said...

Funny thing is, if she did disappear, this is one of the ways that I could actually see it happening.

Larry said...
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Mossy Stone said...

See, its always nice to get these kinds of endorsements.

Mossy Stone said...

Sadly, MD, my writing bug isn't one that bites me with any regularity. DW will tell you that I have more than a few short stories and novels in various stages of completion. Sometimes I can get ideas flowing nicely and then other times I am stuck with the mental image and no way to get it to translate to the written word.

Would I like to be a published author? Yep. Do I have the discipline and follow-through? That's the $64,000.00 question.