Wednesday, July 6

Shameless steal...

I stole this from Kal. Sue me. ;-)





You Know You're From Toronto When...


A really great parking spot can move you to tears.

You can recommend about 3 good body piercing parlours.

You make well over $100,000 and you still can't find a nice place to live.

You realize there are far more rainbow flags in the city than Canadian Flags.

When the temperature rises above zero degrees, you yell "Woohooo! Patio weather!"

You enjoy watching channel 47 multicultural TV

You're guaranteed to know at least one person on every episode of Speaker's Corner.

You haven't been to the CN Tower since you were six, but still have nightmares about that damn turbo elevator.

You've had at least 3 bicycles stolen in the past 10 years.

You've partied with at least one of the members of The Kids in the Hall

You've fantasized about having sex in Casa Loma

At least 3 of your friends have moved to Vancouver

You turn your nose up at any establishment frequented by the S&M crowd. (Scarborough and Mississauga)

You never, never, never swim in the lake

You know "The Beaches" are really called "The Beach", but still say "The Beaches" just to annoy all the nitwits who live there

You ever had a birthday party at the Organ Grinder or The Mad Hatter

You can say "world's tallest freestanding structure" ten times fast

You know the correct answer to "Where do shopping carts go to die?" is "The Don River"

You speak better Chinese than French

The word "cabbagetown" doesn't strike you as particularily amusing

Castle Frank subway station remains one of the great mysteries of the universe for you.

You know what the bathrooms in the First Canadian Place are REALLY for

You don't know where Fort York is, but have a vague recollection of being there in a past life

You know the Demic's song "I Wanna Go To New York City" was intended as sarcasm, not a weekend getaway suggestion

You know where to find Dim Sum, Sushi, Curry, Pad Thai and a dildo at 3 am on a weeknight

For the last time, it's pronounced 'TRONNA'!

You consider eye contact a sign of hostility and an invasion of your privacy.

It takes you half an hour to get to work by TTC and you are the envy of all your friends.

You mourned the death of the Spadina Bus.

You know someone who went to high school with at least one member of The Barenaked Ladies or RUSH

You laugh heartily at people who refer to highway four hundred and one.

You've taken the vomit comit.

You can manuver your bike across Queen st. without getting caught in the streetcar tracks.

You know the difference between souvlaki, moussaka and spanakoptia.

You can name at least three locations of The Beer Store that are open till 11 PM.

You have NEVER been to the Hard Rock Cafe

You actually get these jokes and pass them on to other friends from Toronto.




6 comments:

Penny said...

No, don't sue him - he hasn't got much money anyway. :oP

I love it and oh Lord, is it true!

Larry said...

I couldn't laugh at this one but I will see what it says for the Lou.

Mossy Stone said...

Sure, Cricket...come on up!

Dtrini said...

The list is incomplete however. It should also include that one knows what that the "Cherry Beach Express' is not a train, that the "Red Rocket" is not an actual rocket, where to find George's Chicken, Golden Griddle, Fran's and a Big Slice, and finally, that the Zanzibar is a special type of bar and where to find a bong and some hemp clothing.

Penny said...

dtrini, I know all of this except for the Cherry Beach Express and George's Chicken. WTF are those? Or maybe I don't want to know...

Pretty sad for someone who's lived in the Big Smoke for, oh, 29 years, hm?

Kristin said...

They forgot to mention that you aren't all that sad to find out your favourite bar as a teenager is now a McDonald's and a freakin huge parking lot.

Sadly I can relate to all of those... but I don't miss it.