There's a Hole in my Blog

Well, maybe not in my blog, but in my blog reading list. I need funny blogs I can access at work. There are some really good ones I'll check out whenever I'm visiting John Q., but I can do those from home, cuz I know that the firewall Gestapo would be questioning things like "boobsandlegs.net", "Chick and Dick", "2HotChicks", "Small Town Sex" and the like.

I need funny, work-safe blogs. Folks like dtrini, Lerren, John Q., Penny, etc.....those are the kinds of blogs I need.

Help me, help me!

Now it's my turn to freak the fuck out

Author's note: conspiracy theorists and other paranoids should skip this entry...

My DW spotted these new electric gizmos for the Wondertwins, called 20Q. These are little electronic widgets about the size of a pregnant yo-yo and they play "20 Questions" with you. Now those of you in the studio audience who remember the game of "20 Questions" will know how easy it is to stump the questioner with your answers to such tried & true questions, such as, "Is it animal, vegetable, or mineral?", or even "is it bigger than a bread box?". This little trinket does all that. It also taunts you. No, I'm not kidding.

We figured it would be easy to stump, but the kids would have some fun playing with it.

As creepy as this sounds, I think it can read my mind, 'cause I'm thinking of some wierd-ass shit and it's getting it right!!!

I know what you're thinking: there's no way, right?

Watch this example:

1. Is it Animal? Yes
2. Is it larger than a microwave? No
3. Can it swim? No
4. Does it have fur? No
5. Is it a herbivore? Yes
6. Can you find it on a farm? No

Taunt: you think you can beat me!!!

7. Can you buy it at a store? No
8. Are there many different sorts of it? No
9. Is it brown? No
10. Does it lay eggs? No
11. Can it climb? Unknown
12. Does it live in the forest? Sometimes
13. Can it cheer you up? No
14. Does it have 4 legs? Yes
15. Does it have a long tail? No
16. Does it live in groups? Yes
17. Is it heavy? No
18. Does it weigh more than a duck? No

Taunt: I think I've got you!

19. It it smaller than a loaf of bread? Yes
20. Is it heavier than a pound of butter? No

Taunt: I think I've got it...

Now for everyone in the studio audience who happens to be playing along, what do you think it is?

20Q asks: Is it a naked mole rat?

Fuck me, sideways! That's what we picked!!!! Now how the heck it got "naked mole rat" from those responses, I have no idea. Personally, I'm going with the mind reading. We've only managed to stump it twice. We've thought of some really weird stuff and it gets it.

So I did what I usually do with technology that confuzzles me: I put it down and walk away from it. But in typical Taurus fashion, I have to go back to it. So I do. It guesses right. I get totally creeped out and go searching for alcohol or some kind of hallucinogen. Is this the Furbee of the 21st century? Little plastic gizmos reading our every thoughts? Whata will they come up with next? Cell phones with cameras built-in? Oh wait...

My DW had a bit of fun when she tried to stump it with "love". After the obligatory 20 questions, 20Q cockily replied, "I know...it's a tablelamp!".

Do with that what you will.

As someone once said, "I want to believe!"

(And since its now nearing 11PM, I'm going to go upstairs and get my DW naked. *grin*)

In case I forget

...My wife is pretty awesome. One again, she saved me from the ravages of a gruesome day with dinner out and a nice, quiet evening at home, snuggled in bed watching TV.

As the Romans say, she's a pearl beyond price.

Over the Wall!

I did it! I escaped! I'm going home!!

(Thank Biff for web-enabled Blackberries)

Meetings take Minutes and Waste Hours

Great tag line to describe this morning's fiasco with my favourite group of consultants.

Shocking me to the core was the fact that we actually received an agenda for today's meeting. I didn't have a large role in it, but because some of the work I'm currently doing touches on a number of other project deliverables, I figured I shouldn't miss it.

Sparking my ire first was a note from last week's meeting (which I didn't attend because I didn't think I was needed) that stated that one of the deliverables I needed put on hold was put back on the "live" list. Of course, nobody bothered to let me know this had transpired. Nice...

Then, partway into the meeting, the agenda goes to shit. I mean, really to shit.

So as I'm sitting there madly making notes about this new deliverable I've been saddled with (to say nothing of fuming over the issue) the remaining participants go off on a wild tangent about some miniscule aspect of a new deliverable. Um, hello? Don't we have other stuff to talk about?

The project manager, who called the meeting did nothing to either steer us back on track, or to halt the discussion and 'parking lot' the issue or set it up for another meeting. Nope...he sat there like a fucken bump. Please...turn me up from simmer, to med-high.

And what about the other stuff, I hear you ask?

Out the window. "Oh, I guess we're out of time. I'll have to set up another meeting."

After I left and came back to my desk, my boss asks me, "Are you upset about something?"

I wonder what gave him that idea...

Oh...

...my GOD...

I've done many regrettable things while hammered, but this would never occur to me.

I had a very disturbing thought...

...and strangely enough it wasn't triggered by John Q's revealing post.

One of my co-workersbears a striking physical resemblance to Uncle J. Giggles Flintstone. I keep expecting him to come in one day wearing the barrel.

Scary.

Sheesh

I'd love to know why my email posts keep disappearing into thin air. I even have the "publish" setting checked off, but do you think I can get one to actually show up?

Nope...

Although maybe the subject of yesterday's email had something to do with it:

"Please allow me to express my frustrations over the slowness that is Blogger.com today.

Damned-near impossible to view blogs or even post.Maybe email posting will actually circumvent the chaos.

(Hey, Blogger/Google people...get on the stick, will ya? How about alittle bandwidth?)"

Gifts like this they don't need

First I was sick, then The Girl got sick, now The Boy is sick.

We've tossed a coin to determine where it came from. Either the wondertwins brought it home from school and I got it first, or (more likely) I brought it home from work from one of my many seasonally ill colleagues.

So, my DW is home with The Boy today as he deals with fever & chills & aches & stuff. Probably not quite how either of them expected to spend the day. Hopefully he'll get over it soon. It's no fun being sick in nice weather, that's for sure.

So there I was...

...me vs. the Toronto Argonauts.

Okay, so maybe it just seemed that way.

Yours truly was in goal for part of a charity game between 'The Frozen Boatmen' and some alumni from the Canadian Deaf Hockey team. No, I'm not deaf, but the parent of one of The Boy's hockey teammates is; and a damned good hockey player in the bargain. He asked me to come out for the game so he'd have at least one goalie for sure.

It was a fun game and DW even came out to watch. She was sending messages to my crackberry as I was getting changed prior to the game:

DW: (6:25PM) Good luck, hunny
DW: (6:33PM) k, only 3 argos so far...
DW: (6:55PM) OMG one of the argo players came in and he's HUGE
DW: (6:57PM) Um, hunny, what were you thinking??

Of course, this was after asking me (apropos of nothing whatsoever) "hey, you do have your health card, right?" Now, I know she wasn't trying to psych me out or anything, but you have to admit, its a bit of an unnerving question. Visions of being turned into a smear across the crease leapt unbidden to mind.

Unfortunately, the Argos prevailed 6-4, but a good time was had by all. DW enjoyed herself immensely and I played surprisingly well, even though I was feeling a bit sick and playing against some *very* good hockey players. The Argo goalie (who also moonlights as one of their wide receivers) wound up borrowing my blocker and my spare stick because his just weren't up to the task.

I'm up for a rematch anytime, but Andre will have to bring his own stuff next time. ;-)

I know you've been waiting anxiously...

Here it is! My successful stained glass project!
The shade was from a book of Prairie-style patterns that I bought with DW a few weeks before our wedding. I used a photograph of another lamp on a stand as the inspiration for this one and I designed and built the stand and the matching inset. Not bad for my first significant project.

Return of the Skin

I suppose I should have stuck with a good thing. I really hated that other look & feel so the studio audience and you folks playing along at home will see that I've brought the old look back.

Sometimes the classics really never go out of style. (of course, I reserve the right to change my mind when Blogger comes up with new skins that I like.)

Hi, my name is Mossy and I'm a posting idiot

You'd think I'd learn my lesson after having posts disappear while working on them, but oh no....not me. I'm a "burn my hand on the stove twice" kind of kid.

Fucking blogger...fucking ISP...fuck, fuck, fuck...

(Yeah I know.....type elsewhere, paste/post here.)

(Good?) Friday

My darling wife and I really know how to celebrate the Easter holiday.

What did we do?

WE CLEANED!!!

We are kid-less for the bulk of the weekend because the kids are with their father. Now, normally, this would be an opportunity for us to go and have some "adult time" but we recognized that the house really needed a good "top to bottom."

DW and I have similar views on cleaning. We recognize it as an evil necessity, but a necessity nonetheless. We don't live in squalour by any means, but we're not exactly neat freaks. A clean desk is a sign of a sick mind, etc., etc. However, we figured that since the kids weren't back until Sunday, if we spent a few hours doing stuff, we'd really feel better about it. Yet another sign of peace and harmony is that we actually have preferences for which acts of cleaning we prefer. I'm good at being Mr. Un-clutter, and she follows me with the vacuum. I disassemble and clean the fridge and she washes the walls. (See? It's all about balance.)

A few hours later, the Stone house is nice and tidy and we even gave ourselves a little reward by going out to catch a movie.

On the down side, I'm still not feeling any better and I wish whatever virus I've contracted would make up its mind which system it would like to reside in for its short lifespan. It seems to be tossing a coin between inflaming my tonsils and filling my sinuses. The bookmakers in Vegas are giving it pretty even odds either way.

Off to go snuggle DW in front of the TV. Later.

Doing the right thing...

While it hasn't been the best week for the Canadian Justice system (eg. the Air India trial/farce) it was nice to see a glimmer of logic shining through the cracks. Strangely enough, I'm not referring to the long-awaited deportation of Ernst Zundel.

As some of you in the studio audience will remember, there was a lot of noise made recently about an American "war protester/war dodger" who escaped to Canada in a bid to avoid military service in the "War on Terrorism." This wasn't some activist, this was a soldier. He deserted his unit days before they were to be deployed to Iraq, slipped over the border and claimed refugee status. Democratic society that we are, that claim entitled him to a hearing.

I have to say that, as a former soldier, I find his actions cowardly and deplorable. He wasn't drafted or press-ganged into the military, he volunteered. He took an oath and (in his case) swore to defend the US Constitution and to obey the orders of the officers appointed above him, much in the same was in which I swore allegiance to Her Majesty, The Queen; her heirs and successors when I joined the Reserves, way back in 1986.

Now, unless this guy was terminally stupid, he'd have to know that the military does indeed have a purpose: to defend a nation's interest....sometimes by force of arms. Not that it's always the right way, but that's sometimes how it happens. Surely these weren't new revelations. Instead of taking a non-combat position like a medic or a truck driver or a clerk or something, he joins the infantry and becomes a parachutist in the process! Not exactly shrinking violets, these fellas!

The US military actually has provisions for serving members in accordance with their beliefs, and this lowlife chose to basically say "fuck you" to the process and slink away with his tail between his legs. He could have taken advantage (again) of the "conscientious objector" status and fulfilled his obligations, but no. What does he do? He runs away.

I won't debate the somewhat questionable rationale for Dubya's decision to send in the troops, but damnit, if you swear an oath, you live up to it. He made the weak argument that he couldn't obey illegal orders (in fact, he referred to the entire war as illegal.) If he had ever received one that was truly illegal he'd have an obligation to disobey it. But since he pussied out and tried to apply some vague interpretation of the law onto his arguments, it all comes out as bullshit. The orders he received might have been distasteful (and for soldiers, they sometimes are) but they were not (by definition of the law) illegal.

I'm glad he'll get his ass shipped back across the border where it belongs and that he'll get the court martial (and subsequent military prison time and the dishonourable discharge) he so richly deserves.

Honourable service is any soldier's obligation. If he'd gone over like a professional soldier, his wits and his so-called morals could have kept him alive. He could have made a better contribution by surviving and being a good parent to his child. He could have exercised his right to vote to make a change in his government.

But no...not Pvt. Jeremy Hinzman. His cowardice and twisted sense of loyalty sent him across the border to Canada. Garbage like that we don't need and a little bit of my faith in the nation has been restored because they said that he hadn't earned entry and that he'll now have to go home and face the punishment that particular democratic society has deemed appropriate.

Hinzman, get your disloyal, cowardly ass the fuck out of my country and never come back.

Is this the first step on a slippery slope?

Okay, I totally blame Kristin for this, but I now have access to Picasa and Hello so I can add pictures to my blog. Well, I suppose I could blame her evil twin, Cricket, because she has pictures all over her blog, but, well...um....*sigh*

Will there be pics? Yeah maybe...we'll see.

Just don't expect any like John Q's. *grin*

I've got them right where they want me

Its a rare thing when I can identify with Arnie, but I feel a bit like "Kindergarten Cop" today.

Despite the fact that I'm getting sick, I'm out as a parental volunteer for The Girl today when they do an activity called "Scientist in The School". The so-called scientist has obviously got a few miles on her for this gig...she goes from school to school in the region doing this shtick. I dunno if this is a sign of decreased budgets for science class education, but it was an interesting concept anyway.

There were all sorts of activities for the kidlets, including: examining bones, checking lung capacity, checking heart rates and building a kidney. I got the kidney. I now feel completely confident, that if the world goes arse-over-tit and my darling wife goes into renal failure, I can build her a kidney. Of course, that presumes that I remembered to bring funnels, tubing and coffee filters in my survival pack.

Heck of a way to spend a morning.

It's like an endoscopic exam

I had my year-end review today.

*cringe*

Now, I know they refer to this as the end of the fiscal year. Maybe I'm an idiot, but I'm pretty sure that the year ended in December, right? My suspicion is that the bean counters are still 3 months behind.

But I digress.

Having been a manager, I know the value of having some kind of goal-setting process...particularly when bonuses are involved. I've actually implemented a performance management programme in a past life managing a team of 15 prima-donna trainers. That was an experience and a half. I think I'd rather do my own root canal than go through that again.

But I digress. Encore.

I hate having the process applied to ME. I mean, I've been in training and education in some form or another for almost 17 yrs. I am definitely my own worst critic. I mean, I can see my faults and failures but I so rarely see the successes unless prodded.

I think my biggest problem with how we're doing it at work is that the process is relatively new, and it seems to be a moving target. We're still essentially a start-up so processes and policies are rarely the same two days running. (makes for some interesting progress meetings and shifting project priorities, I can tell you.) This year, the "new" program was kicked off, but the deadline for getting your objectives to your manager was pushed back and pushed back....eventually, I had a goals list submitted that had 10-12 items already checked off as being completed!

Didn't matter, though. I was still dreading the review.

My darling wife, supportive and encouraging as she is, kept telling me not to worry about the review but my illogical self wasn't listening. You can go into a review knowing that you've completed absolutely everything on your list, but you still might wind up with a manager who will cram a scope up the ass of your professional work for the year and poke around looking for fucking acorns or something. Now I have some slight understanding of how women feel in the stirrups, and I'm rarely interested in being spread wide for *that* kind of examination.

Long story short, my manager is happy with what I've accomplished and with how I'm working. They greyer heads in the shop still have to get together to review the results, so I'll know if I'm "bonus worthy" inside a couple of weeks.

The next review is only 12 months away...

Yippy, skippy.

What I did on my blogging vacation...

1. Apologized
2. Apologized some more
3. Begged
4. Pleaded
5. Ducked
6. Apologized
7. Expressed regret
8. Listened
9. Promised openness
10. Made up and reconnected

'nuff said there.

[what I meant to say, was...]

"Hi, My name is Mossy, and I'm a blog-a-holic..."

Some of my favourite blogs haven't been updated yet and I seriously need a fix. Some are offline, even.

I wonder if I need a 12-step program?

Phrenetic Phonetic Phriday

Writer's block. I hate it. Absolutely hate it. I know this is not exactly news to anyone who has to generate words for a living (or even out of necessity) but to me there's little more out there that could generate this level of frustration. Well, on a professional level, at least.

The saga returns to the education strategy document I have to write. I *finally* convinced our consultants that I needed more help than they could provide (small victory) and they said that if they genuinely couldn't find someone to assist me, they'd step out of the way (bigger victory.) Unless they actually find someone to assist me, I'm probably on my own. Why, you ask? Of the two outside consulting firms I contacted about assistance, one of them decided not to submit a proposal because they felt it was outside their sphere of expertise, and the other submitted a proposal that was rather costly for the effort.

There's a dam in my brain holding back a veritable flood of words and details. Of course, the problem is that I don't know where to start writing again. Every time I look at this document I see more ideas...I can pattern them out in my head, but I can't get the one fucking synapse needed to fire so I can get the damned stuff onto paper. ~fume~ I swear, I need someone to lift the lid off the jar holding my brain, dip a ladle into the soup and scoop something out. (how's that for a twisted metaphor?)

For? For what? For me? For Queen & Country? For-get? For sooth? Sooth? WTF is that? Some kind of literary dental impediment? Sediment? Yep...words like sludge. All indistinguishable and clogging up some cognitive artery. I need a dredge. The channel is silting. Speaking of channels, I watched "the l-word" on Showcase/Bravo/whatever. 2 observations: i) Women in same-sex relationships can make bone-head decisions that you'd see in any hetero relationship. ii) Bette is a taller-thinner look-alike for an ex-gf of mine.

Good grief: look at that paragraph. Such spew. Such drivel. Good grief? I feel like Charlie Brown trying to fly his kite again. Watch out for that tree!!!

A Farewell to Flutieball?

I was sad to see that the San Diego Chargers released the seemingly indestructible Doug Flutie this past week.

Doug was a guy who could inspire people to believe (in spite of a slight overdose of self-confidence) and who never listened to people who said "you'll never make it." He overcame the traditional, stolid thinking of the NFL and had more success than you'd know because he rarely got the credit he deserved. After the collapse of the USFL, Chicago was more interested in their blond, buff, sunglasses-sporting meathead than Flutie and even a stint at home with New England didn't seem to help his struggles.

In true "never say die" fashion, Doug headed North (and West) to Vancouver and signed with the BC Lions. It took him a while to adjust but he wound up having a stellar career in Canada, arguably one of the better QBs ever to play up here on the big turf. I actually credit Doug with rekindling my interest in watching football when he signed with BC for the 1990 season. I remember the "Hail Mary" pass in 1984 and I remember him being the star signing for the USFL. As a kid, I was a regular watcher of the game, but after my cousin's husband retired in 1986 after 15 seasons, I kinda lost interest.

Enter Doug Flutie.

There are only a couple of people I have ever seen with the kind of passion and love of the sport; Flutie is one, Mike "Pinball" Clemons is the other. How lucky for me that Flutie signed in Toronto for the 1996 season and led the team to back-to-back Grey Cup championships. For 2 years, I got to see some of the best football ever played in Toronto. He tore up the record books and could have definitely owned almost every QB record in the game. (particularly getting to 60,000 yards passing before Damon Allen did)

Doug's success here still never quenched his competitive fire or his desire to prove he could make it in the NFL, and he took advantage of the NFL's interest in players with a free-wheeling style ( a far cry from the dull, staid, grinding, unimaginative play of the past)...and where would they find them? The CFL, of course! So, off Dougie shuffled to Buffalo. He never really got a fair shake there, because the Bills' brain trust thought that the incredibly delicate Rob Johnson would be a good fit. *sigh* Still, he managed to get a nod as "Comeback Player of the Year" and a trip to the Pro Bowl.

Even in San Diego, he could still light things up by making plays happen even when everyting broke down, but younger guns came along and Doug slipped down the depth chart, a victim of the pressures of starting a so-called "stereotype" NFL QB.

Anyway, I don't think anyone ever doubted Doug's ability, but secretly they all wished he was 6'2". Doug would probably play until he was 50 if a team gave him the chance. God knows he's fit enough and driven enough.

Latest rumours have a couple of CFL teams talking to Doug about coming back to play here, but I don't honestly see it happening.

If he does retire, it will be the end of an era. I don't see Doug ever making the ranks of the Hall in Canton, OH, but he's a definite shoo-in for the Hall in Hamilton. Few finer players will ever grace those ranks.

Thanks for the magic, Doug. It's been an awesome ride. See you in 3 years for your induction. ;-)

Tsunami Miracle

I was away from home when the news hit about the tsunami in southeast Asia. Like many others, I was concerned about the fate of the people affected, but I also shared the concerns about someone I knew.

I worked with Mike in my last gig at a Medical software vendor. Mike was kind of a jack of all trades there, doing everything from backing up the office manager to doubling in tech support and provisioning. He was also a former med student who had, by his own admission, not taken it seriously and he left early on. He also had a girlfriend back in Sri Lanka and he had said that he'd prefer to be back closer to home if he were to resume his studies.

So shortly after I left for my current gig, he also left and started med school in India. Kinda lost touch after a little while.

Then the tsunami hit. I figured that Mike might have been in Sri Lanka at the time. I asked around through my MSN contacts from the old employer: no word from Mike. I got a bit worried. I tried not to think the worst, but I didn't have confirmation either way.

Well, Mike popped up in my MSN a couple of weeks ago but he lost the connection before we could do much more than say "Hi".

Today he popped in again and we got caught up, more or less. Much to my relief, we was okay even though he was in the area where the tsunami hit. His girlfriend is also okay.

So what does this all mean? It means that we get to experience a little of what Mike does when he's not learning to be a doctor. If this whole doctor thing doesn't work out, he should have no problems with a second career.

Welcome back Mike....you've been missed.

love thy blackberry

My bi-monthly team meetings are usually a joy, but my inner monologue needed some freedom.

I'm tired, cranky, and needing beer desperately...

Hump day Mumblings

Why is it still so cold?

If I showed up at work in sandals, cargo shorts and a technicolour Hawaiian shirt, would anyone really care?

I need to replace the oil pan on my car. I can't believe it made it through the winter.

I really hate wearing my glasses.

I still can't believe I live in the 'burbs.

I finished reading 2061: Odyssey Three last night. Arthur C. Clarke still rules.

Sometimes I wonder if I'm really needed?

I think I saw Cyndi Lauper's love child on the train yesterday: wild pink hair, pink leather miniskirt and all.

I think I'm making in roads in bonding with my step-son: through plastic models.

The guy sitting across from me on the bus has the longest neck I have ever seen.

I think my commuter train is having problems (if the bus radio chatter is any indication)

Yep, previous train cancelled but I still managed a seat.

I really need a coffee and a bagel

I think I need an eye exam.

Does our former Prime Minister have any idea what a mess he left his successor?

Adults should not be seen in baggy hip-hop gear.

Smells like Monday

Before we launch, let's review the checklist.

1. Late hockey game last night? Check
2. Forget Cup at home? Check
3. Frustration meter high because of embarassing loss? Check
4. Felt you played well in spite of sloppy team play? Check
5. Had lousy sleep? Check
6. Woke up on time anyway? Check
7. Made bus? Check
8. Remembered to wear pants? Check
9. Left building pass at home? Check
10. Left Blackberry at home? Check
11. Blackberry buzzing woke up sleeping wife? Check
12. Head crammed firmly up ass? Check-a-roonie

Yep...sure feels like Monday.

(fuck)

Spam Name of The Day

Current contenders are:

Corpuscles I. Gonad, who was offering "Real girls next door"
Hackers V. Unclothing, selling "Real women who like big ..... "

Enjoy...

When there's time to blog...

...I'll get to it.

My loyal readers (and I love all 4 of you) have been clamoring for updates. Unfortunately today and this weekend have been a tad busy, however, I'll share all the gory details as soon as I have a moment.

MS

(Sidebar: Does anyone know what happened to Kat's blog?)

It's Alive! It's Alive!!

I DID IT!!

I finally completed production on the first in-house e-learning CD developed where I work.

*doing a happy dance*

When I got here almost 8 months ago, I was the first full-time education resource. Now there's 3 of us and we just wrapped up the first true self-paced learning CD. Designed and developed entirely in-house.

Kudos to us!

Planes, Trains and Strikes, oh my.

(WARNING: This post is anti-union. If this stance offends you, please skip this post)

Item number one on the hit list is the sudden collapse of Jetsgo. This discount airline rose from the ashes of the former Canada3000. Not only did Jetsgo pull the plug, but managed to strand passengers right at peak time in March break. She who makes my coffee and I flew Jetsgo on our Summer trip and on our Christmas trip. She has flown them several times previous. the only saving grace is that we *were* planning to be in the sunny south this week for our original wedding date. Thank god for changed plans and blabby in-laws.

Item two is the imminent strike by our local transit authority. Threats of spring job action by the transit unionistas are as familiar as teachers' strikes and playoff collapses by the Maple Leafs. Adding some sand to the Vaseline is the fact that we just went through a transit fare hike. While I know that the City really isn't the most biz-efficient bunch around, surely the union people recognize the self-defeating cycle they're in: They keep asking for more money, and the city has less to give them. The city has less to give them because ridership (and subsequent revenue) falls every time they do a fare hike to cover off the money that they had to give the unionistas to silence their whining and endless choruses of "Solidarity Forever" when the lazy toads go on strike! Then we get into the whole area of service cuts and I simply don't have the energy to go there. I know they're not all lazy and I know they're not all about the money, but I'm really weary of being held hostage every time a contract comes up for renewal. Every time it happens, more people go into their cars and out of buses, subways and streetcars.

I've lived through 3 transit strikes since I moved here. Last time it wasn't so bad, because the government stepped in and legislated them back to work after 2 days. I'm fortunate this time that I can walk to work from where I get off my commuter train, but it won't be pretty at all and its a bit of a hike.

So, if you happen to be a member of the local Amalgamated Transit Union and you're reading this, here's a message: we're tired of being your hostages. When you strike, the only people you help are yourselves and you drive support away from the audience you need the most: the riders. Pull your heads out of the sand and take a good look at the costs of what you do. Stay on the job and help keep ridership up. The gas tax revenue is coming if you can exercise a rarely-demonstrated trait: PATIENCE.

100 Things About Me

(updated, 24 June 2005)

...cuz its all about me, really.

I'll keep this one relatively clean, but I should be able to get 100 interesting (or not) things listed.

1. Sometimes I'll sit back and ponder the nature of existence. You know, the whole "me" thing? Does the world look the same through someone else's eyes?
2. I'm secretly afraid of death. I hope there's something after it, but it's disappointing to think that there might just be nothing.
3. Every so often I really can't believe where I am and what I've accomplished, then I have some regret about the things I have not yet accomplished
4. I never played football in high school
5. I never played organized sports until I was in my late-20's
6. I was 4'10" and 95 pounds when I got into Gr. 9
7. I am a foot taller and about 100 lbs heavier now
8. I come from a long line of myopic, vertically challenged, athletically challenged people.
9. My parents divorced in 1985
10. They should never have gotten married
11. My mother and I haven't spoken in years
12. My sister and my father haven't spoken in years
13. I hate the person I was when I was younger
14. I do thank my parents for 2 things: a love of books and a love of music
15. I served in the Army Reserve for 14yrs and 83 days (retiring as a Sergeant)
16. I was not a natural soldier, but I worked hard and earned my promotions
17. I loved (for the most part) my time in the Army
18. I didn't grow up doing any organized sports
19. I learned to play hockey in my early 30's
20. I am not a natural as a goalie, but I do it anyway
21. I'm incredibly jealous of people with natural athletic abilities
22. I'm a dreadful procrastinator
23. I love cooking (but hate cleaning)
24. I can make my own bread, from scratch
25. Being a step-parent scares the hell out of me sometimes
26. It also frustrates the hell out of me sometimes
27. I'm always anxious about my weight & body image
28. I am incredibly sarcastic
29. I didn't finish university (but I did finish Community College)
30. I'm not doing for a career what I went to school for
31. I've been the "exception to the rule" in many work situations where I've either been hired or promoted based on my experience over any paper qualifications
32. I've been fired 3 times in my career; only once for cause, but was re-hired concurrently in a different role with the same employer. (Louis Camus, I owe you big for that)
33. Even though it has been almost 3 years, I still curse the spineless turd of a VP who included me in a round of staff cuts. (BC, I let you get away with a constructive dismissal but your time will come.)
34. As you have probably surmised, once crossed, I tend to hold a grudge. I *can* forgive transgressions, but I never, ever forget.
35. As much as I am aware of my skills and strengths, I am alarmed at the gaps in my experience and knowledge.
36. I love CFL Football.
37. My cousin's husband played 16 seasons in the CFL. He was my first hero after Bobby Orr.
38. I have no interest in NFL Football
39. I can't stand basketball and I lost interest in baseball
40. I'm very anxious that NHL hockey is in serious trouble
41. I think ticket scalpers should be shot on sight
42. I think stadiums charge WAY too much for food at their concessions
43. People in Toronto who slag the CFL just because they think that since it's Canadian that it has to suck can all go fuck themselves as far as I'm concerned. Get out to a game, assholes. You might be surprised. (how's that for a run-on sentence?)
44. I have been "the other man" more than once
45. Models and other "perfect" women do nothing for me
46. If I'm going to have sex I'd prefer to use my mind as well as my bod
47. I shave in the shower
48. There are pictures of me in 2 published books (both military)
49. I have been in the newspaper
50. I have been on TV
51. I have never taken a life (that I know of)
52. I have not directly saved a life but I have, on several occasions, provided first aid on the scene of an accident of one kind or another
53. I really, really, really, really want to learn to fly
54. I have never bungee jumped
55. I have never gone skydiving
56. I will not tell you how many people I have slept with. (not yet)
57. I own 3 guitars (12-string acoustic, 6-string acoustic, 6-sting electric)
58. I have my late grandfather's saxophone
59. I have formal musical training in saxophone, piano and music theory
60. I taught myself to play drums at age 14
61. I regret selling my drums at age 28
62. I have worn a kilt.
63. I played in a symphony orchestra for 3 years
64. I played in a military pipe and drum band for 2 years
65. I have been a collateral victim of a sexual assault conviction (not, I repeat, NOT a direct victim)
66. I do not suffer fools gladly and I tend to be pretty blunt when having to deal with them
67. I'm not the most patient guy on the planet
68. I snore
69. I have, and I like it, but it can indeed be distracting
70. I have met and dated people through online dating sites
71. I have met and dated people through chat sites and instant messaging
72. I used to sail
73. I had a pen pal for many, many years
74. We talked seriously about getting married
75. I spent a Christmas and New Years' in Scotland (see above)
76. It didn't work out. (obviously)
77. I have worked in jobs I hated
78. I have stayed in relationships longer than I should have
79. I have had one night stands
80. I have never used a narcotic other than nicotine
81. I am a bar smoker
82. I like cigars
83. I read Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance and hated it.
84. I think Robert Fulghum is a brilliant anecdotal author.
85. I am writing two novels just for fun. One techno-thriller and one sci-fi.
86. People tell me I have a perfect voice for radio.
87. I respond by telling them that I have a perfect face for radio too
88. I prefer working for small companies, not big companies
89. I taught myself HTML years ago on a Mac using TeachText
90. I use P2P software to find digital copies of songs I own on vinyl or tape. Most times. ;-)
91. I can't believe I'm married
92. I can't believe I have a blog
93. I love my country
94. Whenever I go to Ottawa to see the Parliament buildings I get a swell of patriotism
95. I have been to 9 of our 10 provinces
96. I have been to CFL games in 6 of 9 team stadiums and two neutral site games
97. When asked, in an interview, about a challenge I overcame or about a great success, I mention that I'm proudest of surviving a layoff and keeping sane, focused and solvent at the same time
98. 3 people from my work know about my blog
99. I have known Kristin for years, but we have never met
100. Last, but not least, I have played a hockey game at Maple Leaf Gardens.

Wow....100 things. Who knew I had it in me?

Do you have a "Things about me" list? Lemme see!~

Stupid network hiccups

By the time I actually get my "100 Things" posted I will have seen it crap out, oh, about 12 times.

(Me? Frustrated? Whatever gives you that idea??)

Maybe tomorrow...

Right-brained, Right-wing....coincidence?

You Are 5% Left Brained, 95% Right Brained

The left side of your brain controls verbal ability, attention to detail, and reasoning. Left brained people are good at communication and persuading others. If you're left brained, you are likely good at math and logic. Your left brain prefers dogs, reading, and quiet. The right side of your brain is all about creativity and flexibility. Daring and intuitive, right brained people see the world in their unique way. If you're right brained, you likely have a talent for creative writing and art. Your right brain prefers day dreaming, philosophy, and sports.

Are You Right or Left Brained?

A word of thanks to a stranger

This is an open post to the 20-something girl who was sitting at Union Station yesterday dressed in some really funky clothes and (no word of a lie) sporting the technicolour dreads.

You really put a smile on my face just by being there.

3 down, 2 to go

Greetings from a chilly Thursday. I have a feeling its going to be another one of those kinds of days: lots to do and no idea where to start. My horror-scope warns me that I risk offending people by being candid, but another one sez I shouldn't dumb down data to be shared.

Maybe I'll just hide under my desk...

Where do we draw the line?

(Disclaimer: This is more of a cautionary tale, not necessarily a reference to one specific incident. Some names and details have been changed in the interest of clarity. -MS)

I was chatting with a fellow blogger about something that happened on their blog recently. This person, like most of us, had a blog just to "get stuff out." You know, kind of a recording of the inner monologue, coupled with a personal journal.

This blog had been out for a while and had gathered a fairly loyal readership, if the comments were any indication. I had discussed the issue of a recent hiatus and I was told about some of the undercurrents of the blog. The emails. The back-channel comments, and sometimes, the obsessions. Turns out that there was a price to be paid for fame. By sharing some of the details of their life, this writer gathered a small legion of armchair shrinks and lovelorn correspondents. It got to the stage where the volume of personal correspondence was overwhelming and the blogger could have filled their days writing emails responding to these lengthy missives. Of course the more self-absorbed writers would take personal offense if they didn't get direct and personal replies and that sort of thing.

So let's step back for a moment. Whose blog is it anyway? Who is it being written for? At what stage do you know you've crossed the line from "favoured reading" to soap-opera obsession? Have blogs become the new soap operas? Is society faced with a new brand of obsessed stalker? Someone who can't draw the line between fantasy and reality? Should we believe everything we read online?

I gotta tell you, its scary. My friend was getting disturbed by some of the negative reaction. Forming some of these tenuous attachments to a neatly-arrayed display of electrons can't be healthy. It's not a person, and it may not even be the whole story. All the reader gets is what the blogger chooses to share. Any other assumptions are simply filled in by the reader.

Consider this: a blog is like TV. If you don't like what you're seeing, switch it off or change the channel. The "blog-caster" chooses the programming, and they should be free to do so. That's what the blog is all about. It's their choice. The reader needs to make their own choice too. They should be grateful that the blogger took the effort to actually post something, not resentful that they didn't meet your expectations of "quality and quantity."

I definitely won't discourage comments here and I am genuinely touched when people make a contribution, but I make no apologies for what I post if it winds up offending someone I don't even know. Granted, a personal attack is not fair game but these opinions and thoughts are mine. I wouldn't aim to please everyone, because as selfish as it sounds, the only one who needs to be satisfied with a blog is the author.

'nuff said.

Kudos to my friend for taking the straightaway approach. Post what you want, and do it with no regrets. You rock. :)

I still think the Groundhog lied

For the second morning in a row, I get to freeze my nunny off as part of the public transit extravaganza. The mercury is hovering somewhere around Zero on the Kelvin scale, if my estimates are correct.

This morning's post is brought to you courtesy of my Blackberry which conveniently let's me access the web so I can post for your enjoyment. So I'm sitting here on my bus doing the "two thumbs" dance and spewing this forth one peck at a time. Take good look around; see that guy over there, typing away on his Blackberry? It might be me!

Today I'm headed in early because we have another training session being run in my division, and I have to greet the facilitator and get things set up. Nice thing is, I get to take the early train home (yay!). I also have meetings with the dreaded outside consultants and an webcast to attend. *sigh* for those of you playing along at home, this is the same group who came in a couple of weeks ago to assist us in some process improvement and were conspicuous in their lack of depth where education is concerned. Ah well, at least I have the go-ahead to seek outside help in completing my work for this project. I just don't know how else to convey my desire to shut these people out of the work?

Editor update: Just because I wasn't having enough fun, the train before the one I caught was cancelled because of "mechanical difficulties" which is apparently a code word for "the train crew didn't show up" and so my usual express train became a local to pick up the stranded passengers who had been waiting ad nauseum for their morning ride. Needless to say I was a little late. Can I go home now?

This wasn't in the brochure

Holy fucking crazy day so far.

Managed to turn off my alarm instead of hitting the snooze and completely blew my usual routine. Drove to the train and I got one that didn't get me into work too late.

Been in solid meetings this morning and have barely had time to even scratch my ass.

*sigh*

One more meeting at 1:30 and then I'm relatively free & clear for the day.

Vaya Con Dios, Average Joe

A bit of a sad blog discovery this morning. One of my favourite and oft-quoted reads is offline. Average Joe was the blog of a 40-something not-quite-so-happily married guy in SoCal. He had been diagnosed with clinical depression, but he was one of the more frank and articulate writers I experienced in the blog-iverse. I'm still not sure what happened but maybe he'll respond to my email. I do know through one of my contacts that he pulled his site, but no reason has been made public yet. I know his site was very well-visited so I suspect that he's overwhelmed with email. I admired him for his openness and his keen wit.

I would have hoisted a beer with him any day.

I don't think he qualifies for the Darwins, though

I'm all for doing silly, romantic things in the name of true love, but this is a bit of a stretch.

Makes ya wonder, though...what made this guy forget about things like hypothermia? And did he really think his Internet love would welcome him with open arms on a surprise visit? Does he know just how far it is from Manitoba to wherever she is in Quebec?

I think the judge did the right thing by not giving him jail time. His disfigurement will be punishment enough. I wonder how he'll manage to type after this? Do you figure his e-girlfriend still loves him?

Too bad he can still contribute to the gene pool, though.

What...

...the fuck??

Last week, some cop-hating child molester ambushes 4 RCMP Officers and kills them all.

Has the world gone completely insane?

Happy Monday indeed.

Play me, but don't pick, pluck, or bend. No hammer-ons, either

You are a guitar You are a musical genius... congratulations. Most people think you are a little obsessed with music, but that's okay. You don't care what other people think. You are independent, and would rather have a few good (and weird) friends than a lot of not-so-good ones. You may feel that people run down your eccentricity, but that's only because they're jealous. You will most likely become very successful with your musical talent. \m/ Rock on! Most compatible with: Drumstick. Click here -- What Random Object Represents Your Inner Self? (*Author Note* I find this interesting, especially since I own 3 guitars. But oddly enough I played drums all through high school and for a few years afterwards.)

I bet he's impressed with himself, too.

Big cheers for Steve Fossett on a pretty remarkable accomplishment today.

Steve became the first person to fly non-stop, solo, around the world. He accomplished this feat in a custom-built single engine jet designed by that wily designer, Burt Rutan.

Its actually been a pretty interesting technology year, seeing the Ansari X-Prize finally being won, seeing Steve Fossett make his flight, watching the 2 Mars rovers doing their thing beyond anyone's wildest expectations, and getting those first, murky images of from the Huygens probe.

It's nice to see that the human spirit of adventure and desire for challenge still exists.

Me? I'm just a happy child of the space age who's been able to see these things happen since he was a youngster. The glass is pretty full these days.

So I'm impressed with myself; big deal?

I've actually had a good day, today.

Managed to get most of the work stuff done that needed doing, and I actually managed to get a little further ahead on some of the visual identity work done for that corporate process project I'm doing.

Had lunch out with my dearest Wife and some of the classmates from her hobby group. We went to one of the local burger joints and collectively hardened our arteries. Yummy. :)

I even managed to get the oil changed on the Mighty Intrepid, so I'm good for another 5000km. Maybe then I'll get the oil pan replaced.

Dearest Wife is out with the Wondertwins at their skating thing so I have a few moments' relative peace.

But, what are we going to do tomorrow night, Brain?

I got this hysterical link from a guy I used to work with at a medical software vendor. If you appreciate scientific absurdity and good satire, this is definitely for you. I'd like to think that Douglas Adams would have been impressed.

(No, it's not an anarchist's cookbook.)

Check out, How To End The Earth.

Well, fark!

I had a whole post done and ready to go and it disappeared into the ether.

I freakin HATE that.

Is it blogger, or is it just me?

Changes aren't permanent, but Change is

Definitely one of Neil Peart's more high-impact lyrics.

I was pondering this very matter recently while reading a post from Average Joe where he was mulling over some changes in his life. It got me thinking about some of the changes in my own, some more recent than others.

What is it about change that gives people the heebie-jeebies?

Do we really fear the unknown that much? Do we simply not kow how to cope when change is thrust upon us? What about when we actually consciously decide to make a change? Why should that make us any more anxious?

I know that I don't always deal well with change, but there are other times when cataclysmic change has been thrust upon me where I've sailed through almost effortlessly.

Anyone out there have thoughts on this thing?

In case I forget...

...or in case I ever put up a wholly unreasonable post, please, please, please remind me of how awesome my Wife is.

She really went out of her way last night to let me decompress and generally looked after me.

This is also the same woman who anticipated my need to work off the day last Thursday and actually unpacked and aired out my hockey gear AND did the washables so that I could go and skate with The Boy for his practice that evening.

She's awesome.

As the Romans used to say, "She is a pearl beyond price."

Calling St. Cecelia

There's something to be said for the healing power of music.

Those of you playing along at home know that I didn't have the best day yesterday. I did the unthinkable: I turned off my Blackberry, got on the train and actually slept most of the way home (a rare occurrence for me.) My Fantastic Wife was well aware of the state of my brain and she knows how to let me work myself out of my mood.

(I know what you're thinking: I really shouldn't let others dictate my moods. I usually don't and in this case it was more the situation dictating my mood, so I'm almost as guilty.)

So after wolfing down a quick dinner and a couple of glasses of wine, I went upstairs, ran a very hot bath, grabbed the CD player and some tunes and proceeded to soak my cares away.

What music was it, I hear you asking?

Rush: Exit...Stage Left.

~silence~

Yeah I know *you* might not find chilling to the wonderfully interlaced riffs of YYZ and The Spirit of Radio to be relaxing and enriching, but I sure do. I'm one of these weirdos who can "see" music in his head and Neil Peart was a huge influence in my drumming days, so I just closed my eyes and lived the concert.

It was my mental comfort food.

I emerged about an hour later, pruned, steamed and far more relaxed.

Neil, Geddy, Alex: I owe you guys big time. Thanks for being there.

And I was in *such* a good mood

Fuck, what a day. Scary thing is, it isn't over.

Disclaimer: Unlike other blog entries from other folks, this is not a rant about the failings of my employer.

Dtrini always cautions me about writing about work stuff, but I'll be as generic as I can so I can rant with relative impunity.

One of my biggest work failings is that I tend to wear my heart on my sleeve about stuff, so I'm trying to hide out in my cube so people can't get worried about how pissed I am.

We've got a big project going on here, and unlike a lot of places, this internal project makes serious sense to execute. It's really about Best Practices for how we manage a lot of our operations and it will really pay off once we get some of our existing processes matured. We've got some of the pains of any other kind of startup so we have to bite the bullet now, or pay through the nose later.

I'm handling the development of the overall education strategy as well as being the communications guy. I was pretty jazzed about both aspects of the project because I get to sink my teeth into some new stuff. I'm not quite out of my depth but it's definitely bigger than a lot of stuff I've done in the past, so I'm treating this as a "rise to the challenge" opportunity. Corporately, we engaged a consulting firm to provide resources for us to support the staff SME (Subject Matter Experts) in their specific deliverables. I was equally jazzed about finally having some good, solid backing to implement some of my own education plans here (especially since I'll be assessed on them at my review.)

Long story short, the consulting firm's expert assigned to my deliverables is woefully underequipped to assist. He doesn't have the subject matter expertise in education, although he's certainly a process expert. But he hands me a document (granted, in draft format) that looked like it was written by a high school student (Gr. 10, max.) That's when I raised the red flag to the project sponsors.

After a couple of email exchanges with my boss's boss (since my really kick-ass boss is out with pneumonia, poor bastard) we decided to give the consultants a deadline to either produce or get passed over. Now as a former consultant, I know I'd respond immediately to an ultimatum like that. These guys? Not so much. The silence from them has been deafening. No response, no acknowledgement, nothing. Zip. Zilch. Nada. Rien. Bupkes. SFA.

So, here I am suffering a near-terminal case of writers' block while I struggle with the finer points of this strategy document and these idiots are sitting there fat, dumb and happy. I know, I'm impatient. I just want someone to fucking EXECUTE already! I mean, how hard is it to say, "hey, ya know, we just can't fulfil this requirement" instead of yanking me along for the ride?

What really, genuinely bites is that I know I won't be able to just let this go for the night and my darling Wife has told me that she's made a nice dinner. I'm gonna try not to let my mood spoil it.

~fume~

I know....just breathe deeply.

Longer! Wider!! Faster!!!

Yeah, baby!

The CFL released the 2005 schedule and it looks like 76 of the 81 games will be televised. The Wife and I plan to be in Halifax for the June 11 pre-season game for a little getaway. Not sure if I can make Grey Cup in Vancouver though. *sigh*

Training camp opens in May!

Where's Bill Murray when you need him?

The damn groundhog LIED! Early spring, my ass.

As much as I love my country, I hate the winter weather that goes along with it. In my little corner of the world, winter is best defined as a series of snowy dumps that envelop the city in late Feb and early March. Despite the fact that this is an annual occurrence, otherwise intelligent, capable people are transformed into the fodder that my pal, Dtrini, uses for his "Daily Idiot" series of vehicular escapades once the white stuff starts to fall. I won't tread on his turf with respect to the rants, but he and I are brothers-in-arms where some of these auto-bound fuckwits are concerned.

For a Tuesday it sure feels like a Monday. I'm tired from last night's hockey game (lost a 3-2 heartbreaker) and I managed to lose the battle with the snooze bar this morning. I also managed to forget an important thingy for my laptop so I had to borrow one from the propeller heads in IT.

About half the department isn't in today from a mix of illness, vacation and weather. Sure makes it challenging to get stuff done.

Speaking of which, I have to go yell at some consultants so I can get my own stuff done.

More later.